


How Much I Love You

by MusicalShippingHell



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Angst, Death, Heavy Angst, M/M, Robbery, Sad, What Have I Done, be prepared to cry, like seriously how did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 23:04:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11724438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicalShippingHell/pseuds/MusicalShippingHell
Summary: All Jesper wanted to do was help someone, and it seemed that backfired on him too.





	How Much I Love You

Jesper curled in on himself, pressing a hand to the bleeding wound on his side. He knew it was no use; he was going to die. If only he hadn’t been so reckless, maybe he wouldn’t be in this situation; bleeding out in an old alleyway, from a bullet wound to his side.

If he had just thought his decision through like an adult, maybe he wouldn’t be leaving the one person he _knew_ actually loved him. Maybe if he didn’t rush in to help the woman being held at gunpoint, he wouldn't be here. _Maybe_ . But he couldn’t change that now, he was going to die and there was nothing he could do about it. The police wouldn’t get here in time, and the thief and the woman were long gone. The mugging had just been an act; the woman wasn’t actually getting robbed, she was only trying to lure someone in _to_ rob. Jesper had been that lucky someone.

Jesper did the only thing he could think of; call Wylan. He pulled his phone out of his pocket--the only thing the thieves didn't take--and dialed Wlans number. It only took him a few rings to pick up, and when he didn’t, Jesper couldn’t help but smile at his lover's’ voice. He sounded so happy.

“Jesper! I’m glad you called. I’m making dinner right now; you’ll be home soon, right?”

Jesper groaned, pulling the phone away from his ear so Wylan wouldn’t hear him, before bringing it back and responding. “I m-might be a little late, babe. I got caught u-up in something.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll make sure to keep your plate warm for you,” Wylan replied, sounding a little upset.

“Don’t worry babe, I’ll be home before you know it.”

Jesper pressed the mute button the phone before releasing a scream. The pain in his side was becoming unbearable and he knew he was fading fast. He didn’t have much time. He released a few deep breaths before unmuting himself and putting the phone back to his ear.

“--and she didn’t even know it was him.” Wylan finished whatever story he was telling, and Jesper replied with a simple ‘oh yeah’. He wanted to tell Wylan he wasn’t going to see him ever again, that he wasn’t going to make it home for dinner; but he just couldn’t. Jesper didn’t want to put Wylan through something like this. He deserved a few more hours to be happy. After everything his boyfriend had been through he didn’t deserve to hear Jesper die.

“H-Hey Wylan?”

“Hmm?”

Jesper took a deep breath, wincing at the pain that was sent shooting throughout his abdomen. “Did I ever tell you how much I love you?”

He heard Wylan let out a shaky laugh, catching on that something was wrong. “Jes, is something wrong?”

“Nothing at all. I-I just want to let you know how much I love you.” Wylan didn’t respond, and Jesper took this as his chance to let him know how much he really meant to him. “I love you more than there are stars in the sky. I love you more than I love card games. No one in the world can compare to you. The freckles on your face are like constellations and every time I look at you I can’t help but connect them. Your eyes are the most brilliant blue, they’re prettier than the sky; _nothing_ can compare to them. I-I get lost in them sometimes. It’s hard to look away. And your hair--oh your hair. It’s so soft and curly, and I can’t help but run my fingers through it when we’re laying on the couch together watching old Disney movies. I love that you love those movies. It makes me happy when you sing along to the songs. Your voice is beautiful. I love every single thing about you Wylan, don’t ever forget that.”

Wylan’s voice came through the speaker broken as if he had been crying. “Jes, you’re scaring me. Why are you saying all of this?”

Jesper let out a breathy laugh. His vision was getting blurry and he could tell he only had a few minutes left. He needed to hurry this up. “Because I just w-want you to know. You need to know. I love you Wylan Van Eck.”

“I love you too, Jes. I love you more than anything, but why are you telling me this now? We’re going to see each other soon.”

“I-I know, I know, love; but I want you to know. Okay?”

Wylan sniffled. “Okay. I love you too.”

Jesper glanced down at the bullet wound in his side, and then up at the star-ridden sky. “I’ve got to go, love. I love you.”

“I love you too. See you at home.”

The line went dead, and the phone dropped from Jespers hand. He pressed his hand against the bullet wound again, and started up at the sky. _Only a few minutes left_ ; he thought, counting the stars. One… two…

This isn’t right. There were so many things he wanted to do with Wylan; things he was never going to get to do. He wanted to take a country-wide road trip with him, he wanted to adopt a child, he wanted to propose; get married. He thought about the silver ring the thieves had taken before. Jesper couldn’t help but let a few tears escape his eyes as he thought about everything he wouldn’t get to do with Wylan. He wouldn’t get to grow old with him. There would be no more shared dinners, no more longing glances, no more Disney marathons. But at least, Jesper thought, I got to hear his voice one more time; that was enough.

Wylan would be heartbroken after this, knowing that he was on the phone with his dying boyfriend and couldn’t do anything about it. He wish this didn’t have to happen; that he didn’t have to leave his love: His world. But he knew he had no choice.

So as Jesper laid there, bleeding out from a bullet wound in his side, counting the stars, he thought about every happy memory of Wylan he had. He counted, and thought, and counted, and thought.

 _One-hundred._ Jesper let out a final breath, and the hand clutching his side fell. His eyes fluttered shut, his lips stuck in a permanent smile.

 

\--------------------------------

 

Wylan knew something was wrong when two hours had passed and Jesper didn’t return home; and when three hours had passed, he started to get worried. He didn’t sleep the whole night; he just sat on the steps inside the house, staring at the door. He waited, and waited, but there was no Jesper. At around seven in the morning, there was a knock on the door, and Wylan sprung from his seat on the stairs. Jesper; that was his first thought. But why would Jesper knock? He had a key, and the door was unlocked. Wylan approached the door, hoping it was Jesper.

And Wylan knew--he knew--when he opened the door and there were two police officers in uniform standing on his front porch, that something was really wrong.

“Are you Wylan Van Eck?”

Wyaln nodded; that is when his whole world collapsed. The police officers were kind and understanding and helped Wylan inside. They stayed, against protocol, to comfort Wylan when his whole world was caving in.

Even though they tried to talk to him, Wylan only kept repeating: Jesper isn’t dead. He repeated it for hours, even when the officers had left and been replaced with Nina. Even when he knew it was true. Wylan knew the truth, but he didn’t want to let himself believe it; Jesper Fahey was gone.  

  
  



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